i've started swimming again, hoping to get my head and body in a better space or something. i think it should help. there's something healing about water.
i arrived a little too early for lane swimming and sat in the hot tub for a while and watched aqua-sizing. in the change room i was loathing the silly sport because of all the naked old women that i had to see in the change room . they're the sort of women that are...let's say...comfortable with their bodies. shudder.
anyway, i got out to the deck, sat down in the hot tub and watched the end of aqua-size class. they were cooling down and doing movements to "I hope you dance" and it was one of the most beautiful things i have seen in a while. here they are, all these regular, normal people moving in sync together to an emotionally manipulative song. lifting their hands to the sky and slowly pushing through the water.
i watched them for what seemed like a long time, but it was probably only five minutes. i looked at all their faces and realized they were all like me at somepoint, they had lived these long lives, seen many sights, had their hearts broken, laughed so hard that they cried and now they were nearer the end of their lives.
and right there in that moment, i had a sense that i could also keep going. that normal, everyday people were beautiful in their own way and that included me. i have always liked foreign films because they use regular looking people that have the odd mole or crooked tooth, whose hair might be too frizzy or not the right color. it makes the movies more powerful to see every day people living out the heartbreak, tragedy or comedy.
i'm glad i went swimming. it warmed my heart.
Friday, September 29, 2006
Monday, September 25, 2006
undecided
i haven't decided what to do about this blogging thing at this point in time. i will continue thinking about it. i guess since i am not working and puttering around life i have come to realize a lack of consistent community in my life. (and somehow that feels pathetic to admit) and yet there is this whole world of people thinking out there, writing, sharing ideas. i want to figure out what things hinder us from real community, from interacting face to face and sometimes i think blogging does that. i guess i'll just have to keep thinking about it.
thanks for all of you who commented and if some of you still have thought feel free to share them. jack...i'm excited about your coffee shop.
shalom.
thanks for all of you who commented and if some of you still have thought feel free to share them. jack...i'm excited about your coffee shop.
shalom.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Je suis finis
i have come upon an interesting thought in my own head and whilst talking to people i respect. i have come to realize that perhaps....just perhaps...i should terminate my blog. now before i get too into this concept let me explain.
there is something about blogs that is a little strange. you are excited or upset or just thinking about things and we blurt them out or perhaps you blurt them out on a blog page and there they sit. the only consolation or sharing in your excitement is someone writing a little post but it's such a faceless thing, no real hug just wishes of one.
the problem is that i like blogging. i like writing funny things out, sharing things i'm thinking about, finding funny pictures to download and use etc. etc. But sometimes i wonder.
i have thought about this crazy idea in the past and now i will put it up here. what if us edmonton blogging types got together and did a sort of live blogging type thing. you know? where we actually just planned to meet at a coffee shop and shared in person how we were doing, what we had been thinking, what books we were reading and shared our lives in person.
i have gotten some strange e-mails as of recent that I think were sent because it was easier to say in an e-mail because it can just be sent off and you don't have to see the reaction, you don't have to deal with a face....it is indeed a faceless way of communicating. And so these experiences have set in motion some wheels in my head thinking through this stuff, wondering if e-mailing and blogging is causing our world to pull farther and farther away from real interaction with people, to be avoiders and to create "communities" where we never have to actually look someone in the face and tell them how we're doing. Where we can share our pain and not actually have to admit weakness to someone else because we don't' know who is reading it. There is little interdependence in this e-mailing and blogging world and I worry that I am totally becoming apart of it. Rather than sharing interesting things with people in person i just stick it on my blog and if they want to read it they can, but we never talk about it because it's like blogging is this sort of secret world, "What is said in blog world, stays in blog world."
i have just realized my own tendancies to be much more of an avoider than i used to be, that it's easier to sit down and write it out in an e-mail or talk about it on msn rather than talking in person, and it would be easy to avoid people all together in some ways. then you never have to be actually close, you never have to say those hard to say things in person because you can just stick them in an e-mail or on a website. perhaps this is my own struggle rather than everyone else's but....
Maybe this is just rambling so comments, questions, and concerns are welcome. I mean there are those that blog from far away and it's nice to know how they are doing but then...perhaps we could call them or write them a letter, but then perhaps our worlds are full of too many people to call everyone. I don't know.... just working through something, but i like the idea of live blogging. seems like a good idea in my mind, find a cool coffee shop, sit down with your local blogging friends and talk in person.
The problem is that i like reading people's blogs and responding and writing etc. Anyway....comments?
there is something about blogs that is a little strange. you are excited or upset or just thinking about things and we blurt them out or perhaps you blurt them out on a blog page and there they sit. the only consolation or sharing in your excitement is someone writing a little post but it's such a faceless thing, no real hug just wishes of one.
the problem is that i like blogging. i like writing funny things out, sharing things i'm thinking about, finding funny pictures to download and use etc. etc. But sometimes i wonder.
i have thought about this crazy idea in the past and now i will put it up here. what if us edmonton blogging types got together and did a sort of live blogging type thing. you know? where we actually just planned to meet at a coffee shop and shared in person how we were doing, what we had been thinking, what books we were reading and shared our lives in person.
i have gotten some strange e-mails as of recent that I think were sent because it was easier to say in an e-mail because it can just be sent off and you don't have to see the reaction, you don't have to deal with a face....it is indeed a faceless way of communicating. And so these experiences have set in motion some wheels in my head thinking through this stuff, wondering if e-mailing and blogging is causing our world to pull farther and farther away from real interaction with people, to be avoiders and to create "communities" where we never have to actually look someone in the face and tell them how we're doing. Where we can share our pain and not actually have to admit weakness to someone else because we don't' know who is reading it. There is little interdependence in this e-mailing and blogging world and I worry that I am totally becoming apart of it. Rather than sharing interesting things with people in person i just stick it on my blog and if they want to read it they can, but we never talk about it because it's like blogging is this sort of secret world, "What is said in blog world, stays in blog world."
i have just realized my own tendancies to be much more of an avoider than i used to be, that it's easier to sit down and write it out in an e-mail or talk about it on msn rather than talking in person, and it would be easy to avoid people all together in some ways. then you never have to be actually close, you never have to say those hard to say things in person because you can just stick them in an e-mail or on a website. perhaps this is my own struggle rather than everyone else's but....
Maybe this is just rambling so comments, questions, and concerns are welcome. I mean there are those that blog from far away and it's nice to know how they are doing but then...perhaps we could call them or write them a letter, but then perhaps our worlds are full of too many people to call everyone. I don't know.... just working through something, but i like the idea of live blogging. seems like a good idea in my mind, find a cool coffee shop, sit down with your local blogging friends and talk in person.
The problem is that i like reading people's blogs and responding and writing etc. Anyway....comments?
Monday, September 18, 2006
bonneville
So guys I'm back from the Bonneville Salt Flats. What a uniquely wild experience. The car that I'm in there went 250 m/p back in the sixties and now they're trying to get the record back. It was in the movie "The World's Fastest Indian" as well. They have a 55 gallon tank of water in the back of the car to cool the engine while it runs. Gail drives it, but unfortunately the water system shut down during her run and she blew a piston and then that was it, her time in Bonneville was over.
At Bonneville you talk about cars all day. I talked about cars for five days straight, you know about air intake manifold systems, how to get more speed for each gear, pistons blowing, rear suspension, traction, conditions for highest speeds....you know regular talk for me in my world. :)
It was pretty cool to see a motorbike go 208 miles per hour. It's important that you recognize that I'm talking in miles. There was a GMC motorhome that went 102 m/h, some streamliners going 300 m/h or more, crazy mamba jamba goat carters with no roll cage or suspension going 108-130 m/h. And I even saw someone run a two toned blue van like the Tomalty's beauty. it's worth seeing, it's a great experience.
The salt is amazing and looks like snow the way it piles up underneath the cars. But it makes for a hot day with a hot utah sun shining down on you and then that same heat being reflected back on you from the glistening white surface below.
I'm really glad i went. It was a much needed break and distance from the old e-town and things that go on here.
Monday, September 11, 2006
A Salute
I haven't done a salute in a while so here we go.
Well everyone, it's official....my dad wins the Trooper Prize for last week. My father has been trying to go to the Utah Salt Flats to race his jaguar in a street car competition to join a 130 miles per hour club. He has been working away on it and then some dim-wit slowed down quickly in front of him on Whitemud and my dad rear ended him, wrecking the hood, fenders and one of the headlights. He has never been in an accident in his life before and it happens with his jag. I was following him with my car and man, oh man...it was an awful thing to see.
So, my dad decided he would still try and go and so we are waiting this morning to see if it will work. I think I might go with them if they go. Might be one of the most unique things i will do in my life, head to the Bonneville Salt Flats and see cars race all day.
My father had to get a new hood for his car and so since the hood wouldn't match the paint job on his car anyway, he decided to do a little design on his own. He looked up pictures of the union jack (which happens to be historically asymmetrical) and using a little tape and shelf spray paint from the clearance section in canadian tire, he has painted himself a beautiful hood. i had no idea it would turn out looking so good. these pictures are in the rain but you still get an idea.
If the car goes today and it if races it will be called "Rule Britannia"! So there you go. My dad wins the prize. Gets in an accident and still manages to keep the hope, producing a beautiful homemade hood. I salute you George, you are an inspiration to us all.
Well everyone, it's official....my dad wins the Trooper Prize for last week. My father has been trying to go to the Utah Salt Flats to race his jaguar in a street car competition to join a 130 miles per hour club. He has been working away on it and then some dim-wit slowed down quickly in front of him on Whitemud and my dad rear ended him, wrecking the hood, fenders and one of the headlights. He has never been in an accident in his life before and it happens with his jag. I was following him with my car and man, oh man...it was an awful thing to see.
So, my dad decided he would still try and go and so we are waiting this morning to see if it will work. I think I might go with them if they go. Might be one of the most unique things i will do in my life, head to the Bonneville Salt Flats and see cars race all day.
My father had to get a new hood for his car and so since the hood wouldn't match the paint job on his car anyway, he decided to do a little design on his own. He looked up pictures of the union jack (which happens to be historically asymmetrical) and using a little tape and shelf spray paint from the clearance section in canadian tire, he has painted himself a beautiful hood. i had no idea it would turn out looking so good. these pictures are in the rain but you still get an idea.
If the car goes today and it if races it will be called "Rule Britannia"! So there you go. My dad wins the prize. Gets in an accident and still manages to keep the hope, producing a beautiful homemade hood. I salute you George, you are an inspiration to us all.
Friday, September 8, 2006
A Celebrity
I got to be a celebrity for a day today. I went and subbed at the school I taught at last year and it was like being the most popular girl in high school. of course that girl was 24. shoot. i found my glory too late. it was really nice that they were excited to see me. made me feel a little bit more whole than i have felt in a while.
one of the kids in the gr.6 class that i was teaching said, "Ummm..Ms. Bennett...how old are you? because you're really pretty." and then she kept calling me Ms.Pretty instead of Ms.Bennett. Gotta love the kids. they're great for the old ego.
the students i had last year kept telling me they thought i was in africa and kept asking me if I was going and when i was going to do this or that, and do these things i talked about last year. so now i feel like i must go just because of them, so i live out what i actually preached in class. it was very challenging to remember how much my presence influenced their thinking or how closely they were paying attention.
it was definitely a nice end to a tough week.
catch you on the flip side.
one of the kids in the gr.6 class that i was teaching said, "Ummm..Ms. Bennett...how old are you? because you're really pretty." and then she kept calling me Ms.Pretty instead of Ms.Bennett. Gotta love the kids. they're great for the old ego.
the students i had last year kept telling me they thought i was in africa and kept asking me if I was going and when i was going to do this or that, and do these things i talked about last year. so now i feel like i must go just because of them, so i live out what i actually preached in class. it was very challenging to remember how much my presence influenced their thinking or how closely they were paying attention.
it was definitely a nice end to a tough week.
catch you on the flip side.
Monday, September 4, 2006
worm wars and nice people
Well guys I did it...something very original....i went camping on labour day weekend. and boy it was uniquely fun. I know it isn't a unique thing and there are probably hundreds of blogs being posted in the next little while that discuss someone's camping trip this past weekend but i would like to say that ours stands out among the rest.
I went camping with my two cousin married couples and jonny. we ate way too much food, played lots of cards, sat in the sun, built a dam (i'm sure you can imagine how many millions of jokes we managed to make and specifically russ managed to make over that one), sat by the fire, read our books, tried to solve the worlds problems and laughed really hard.
At one point i thought i was going to suffocate when i was laughing. i was trying to hide my hysterical laughter because eric was coming after me in the tent to destroy me in a worm war. now how could i hide from eric? well, it was completely pitch black, you couldn't see anything. he came for me and i tried to jump over jonny, landed on jonny and flopped into the pile of other people fighting it out in the middle of the tent. i haven't laughed that hard in a really long time, like couldn't control the excitement of it all, all these people coming after you and you can't see them at all, as well as adding in the awkwardness of being in your sleeping bag whilst trying to pummel people twice the size of you.
i am thankful for those people and thankful for the fact that we don't need anything to do because we can laugh and enjoy each other no matter what we are doing. i have good people in my life. i needed this weekend. it was great.
sidenote: book to read for everyone: Irresistable Revolution. Wonderful book, it will change the way you think, see the world and live. Worth a read. I'm not done it yet but it's really interesting. So if you are looking to become an ordinary radical or just looking for some definite thought provoking reading material pick it up. Irresistable Revolution: Shane Claiborne. i will write more later but it's changing something inside of me or causing something to grow that was already there.
have fun at school this week everyone. i wish i was starting up myself. shalom.
I went camping with my two cousin married couples and jonny. we ate way too much food, played lots of cards, sat in the sun, built a dam (i'm sure you can imagine how many millions of jokes we managed to make and specifically russ managed to make over that one), sat by the fire, read our books, tried to solve the worlds problems and laughed really hard.
At one point i thought i was going to suffocate when i was laughing. i was trying to hide my hysterical laughter because eric was coming after me in the tent to destroy me in a worm war. now how could i hide from eric? well, it was completely pitch black, you couldn't see anything. he came for me and i tried to jump over jonny, landed on jonny and flopped into the pile of other people fighting it out in the middle of the tent. i haven't laughed that hard in a really long time, like couldn't control the excitement of it all, all these people coming after you and you can't see them at all, as well as adding in the awkwardness of being in your sleeping bag whilst trying to pummel people twice the size of you.
i am thankful for those people and thankful for the fact that we don't need anything to do because we can laugh and enjoy each other no matter what we are doing. i have good people in my life. i needed this weekend. it was great.
sidenote: book to read for everyone: Irresistable Revolution. Wonderful book, it will change the way you think, see the world and live. Worth a read. I'm not done it yet but it's really interesting. So if you are looking to become an ordinary radical or just looking for some definite thought provoking reading material pick it up. Irresistable Revolution: Shane Claiborne. i will write more later but it's changing something inside of me or causing something to grow that was already there.
have fun at school this week everyone. i wish i was starting up myself. shalom.
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