(Disclaimer 1: i think that the Church (the body of God) can be a beautiful thing. that God has put us together to undo the evil that has happened in the world, to help him make all things new. the Church can bring healing and restoration to the world and that is amazing. that is fantastic and wonderful)
(disclaimer 2: the school i work at is a good school and the staff there are great. but the following post needed to be posted because it speaks of a bigger problem than just today.)
I had a strange experience today. i was in a church service and i was so bothered by the experience that i couldn't even stay in the room the entire time. i think i was actually angry and anger is not a normal response for me.
the service was going on and at first the music was super super loud so that no one had any idea what was going on and it all seemed very chaotic, not celebratory. Then there was a mimed skit with crazy images projected and people doing karate moves or something and I didn't understand it at all. Now i know that I am not the most intellectual scholar but I believe I should be able to understand a skit that is about some theme in Christianity. I mean you know who Satan is...he's the guy in a hood or in black. But other than that...well it just seemed to add to the confusion. And they didn't even explain it. It seemed all so foolish and maybe it spoke to someone...but that someone was definitely not me.
And the whole thing bothered me. I just thought, "what are we telling these kids about Christianity?" Are we telling them that this is all it's about. It's about a worship leader who is taken away by the music so that people don't even know what is going on anymore? that praising God is about singing the word "freedom" over and over and over again at the front of the room. What if someone doesn't enjoy singing, does that mean they can't meet with God? Of course not...but i think this is often what we tell people. meeting God is through singing and a sermon. And telling them they have to stand and have to respond to the altar call, that true commitment to God is shown by standing. and perhaps the only reason they are standing is because someone in an influential position tells you to stand?
I think that asking for a commitment and maybe an altar call might have it's place. I think calling people up for healing and prayer is great. But asking people to stand every time, and every week....why the hell does it matter if they stand up or not. Doesn't God look at the heart and not at the outward appearance. Is it just so we can see if God was actually working....because maybe he wasn't? If we believe that God is using us when we preach or that God is changing hearts why do we care if we get to see it or not. Shouldn't we just be able to trust that he is working?
As all of this was going on I looked over at one of the students that claims to have no desire for a relationship with God and it broke my heart to think she had to be here for this. I hated what message this was giving her. I felt isolated and disjointed and confused and like everything around me was fake, as if I was in the middle of "Saved". And here she was, and this has been all she has ever seen of Christianity. Her home life is messed up and she has been in Christian schools her entire life, no wonder she doesn't want God in her life.
And I wanted so badly to run over to her and tell her that this isn't what it's about, to tell her that God loves her. But she has heard that so many times that it probably wouldn't even make a dent. And I think that's the point where I got angry.
I was angry that this is what we tell people Christianity is about. That's it's about a group of people that are in some special club who are experiencing God more than you are at this moment. That they have it all together. that's what is looked like, as if the worship team had it totally together. as if things were perfect and wonderful and everything was right. Church should be a place where someone can open the service with "how many of you guys had a hard time getting here this morning...I know I did?" or even beginning the service with a prayer of confession and admitting that things aren't perfect but thanking God that he will meet with us anyhow.
I almost committed to never going to church again and taking some of these kids and build houses on Sunday for homeless people or work in soup kitchens and be in community, serving God. Being part of the solution rather than some fake, confusing display. It felt commercial and it felt awful and it made me angry. We show these kids that all our relationship with God is about is hanging out with Christians, going to church and going to youth group. But that's not it at all!!!!!!! arggggg......
Now maybe I shouldn't have let it fester, and let it take over me. But everything started to annoy me about it, even the font he used to put up verses on the overhead. And he's talking about "getting into jesus" and I'm just thinking...I don't even know what he is talking about. he's mostly just telling a bunch of stories where he is screaming into the microphone. and this church service sure wouldn't want me to get into Jesus. It felt like we had forgotten about God or something.
I want these kids to know truth, basic, stripped to the bone, rich truth. Not some display of entertainment. Not a slide show of a bunch of random pictures with booming music. And yet we try and entertain them, just like the rest of the world. But why would they want something that is like the rest of the world.
I wish I could convey why it made me so angry but I don't even really know. I was just mad that this is what people think that Christianity is about. And I do not claim to have it all figured out but I do know that it isn't about PISS (Praise Induced Spirituality Syndrome). No wonder people are wondering if this is all that there is when they go to church. I wouldn't go to church if this is what it was like. I don't feel like this at my church or I haven't yet and I'm thankful for that.
But seriously, does anyone know what i'm talking about? or perhaps I am alone in my cynicism and maybe I am wrong. I can handle that too. But it just left me thinking "What on earth are we doing? this is bizarre."
p.s. thanks if you got to the end. i appreciate you reading these ramblings.
5 comments:
lisa, i think you're right. i think situations like that frustrate me and make me feel ashamed that i don't do more myself. i've been reading your other posts about living out Romans 12 and i think thats where we need to start.
david,
thanks for making it to the end. Romans 12 is a fantastic chapter. so practical and even if this was the only part of the bible we knew of there is enough to work on for our entire lives hey?
it's easy to feel defeated in situations like that but there has to be something we can do.
I hear you. It's certainly damaging to see a bunch of empty spectacle dressed up as spirituality. I guess the problem is that the real stuff is so hard to distinguish from the crap. It's easy to get wrapped up in being "relevent" or emotional, or pretending that everything's cool, or that everything sucks. I sympathize with people who get caught up in showy spirituality, as well as the people who are turned off by it. I've been both, I think.
I don't know that I've ever experienced anything better - the real Christian life or experience that plasticy Christianity imitates. Or maybe I have, and I never recognized it or valued it. I don't know. It's easy for me to see the empty facade for what it is; my problem is that (like so many on the outside) I tend to judge Christianity itself by that facade. And I'm always a little caught off guard when someone says "This crap is nothing like the real thing."
The real thing? Oh ya. I forgot about that. It's so elusive, enigmatic. But maybe I should be looking for it.
I have been wondering what the most important thing is to Christianty. I would like to say that it is to help bring people to Jesus, but how. Who is to say that loud annoying music can't. The church I go to almost puts on a show for the worship time. I think that is to let unchurched people feel less aqueward, bring them to church first then work on why they should be coming. It may be different in a Christian school but I find it hard to say that those things you talked about are always annoying to everyone. I don't know...wanted to let you know i read it and thought about it and am still unsure.
caleb,
i think that the way we bring people is by being in their lives, relationally. I want to get out of the mentality that people meet God by being brought into a church building, but that they meet him in their every day lives. How can we encourage people to live out their faith, if we don't bring God to their every day life.
I will share one of my most favorite thoughts.
"I am recovering the claim that Jesus was not crucified in a cathedral between two candles, but on a cross between two thieves, on the town garbage heap ... at the kind of place where cynics talk smut, and thieves curse, and soldiers gamble. Because that is where he died and that is what he died about." George MacDonald
Post a Comment