To everything turn, turn, turn...there is a season

I have been thinking about this a lot and now I'm just going to say it....sometimes I get really excited about my relationship with God and yet even as I type that I feel foolish or something. I think I feel silly telling people how excited I can get about God and what he is doing and what he wants to do in this world and that he wants me to be a part of it. I think it makes me feel simple or something, that people must think I'm shallow because I'm not struggling with something right now.

And the reality is...of course I'm struggling. Can I make sense of Romans 13 where it talks about God putting authorities in place...when Hitler or Stalin were in charge? No I can not make sense of that. Do I understand where I am going in life or why things are the way they are in my life right now? Nope...not at all.

But I know one thing. I know that God is good. Whatever else it is that is going on in this world I know he is good. And sometimes I have to say that with tears in my eyes because of my inability to understand how pain or heartache can be good.

But I know that he is good. And by stating that I don't think I'm denying something or being dishonest. He is good, he loves this world and he loves me.

And tonight when I was reading in Romans at Growth Group and listening to Wayne talk about God, I got excited. I got excited about the possibility of learning to live like Romans 12 talks. learning how to love people, and have my life oriented around God's plan of undoing the evil in this world. That he wants me to be apart of this renewing that he is doing in the world. that I can get involved in what he is already doing. often I think i need to create something good to be doing for God...but, as Bono says, "Get involved in what God is doing because it's already blessed." I love that idea that God is already doing something.

And when I look at the stuff it says in Romans or look at Jesus' life I am just overwhelmed by the reality of how much better way this is to live. How caring about other people and not about myself is the better way to live. How else can I fully experience God until I get myself out of the way? Until I learn that what i need is more of him and less of me. And of course God has the better plan in life, the better purpose.

This is a God that is restoring things and making things new. And perhaps we can say that we can't see it because there are so many people dying in the world. But he's there and he's moving. And maybe it seems like nothing is happening because we need to get out there and be apart of it and see the results.

You know...maybe we don't see things happening in our own lives, we don't see miracles because we're not really out there being active in our faith. We need to be out there doing something rather than demanding that God meet us in our living room, demand that he meet us in our comfortable lifestyles. And can he meet us in these places....absatively posilutely. But as my dad says, "If you do what you've always done. You'll get what you've always gotten."

Anyway, my point of all this wasn't to talk about that necessarily. I wanted to talk about how we shouldn't be afraid to celebrate. Or maybe I shouldn't be afraid to celebrate that God moved me tonight, that I felt excited about how things could be, that he gave me hope. And tomorrow I might awake and feel frustrated but tonight....I felt encouraged. And on Sunday i was encouraged by communion. There seems something really right about people getting up and talking about what God is doing in their lives or what they are having a hard time with or whatever. It is meaningful and rich and I like that. And it's not all weird, touchy/feely stuff. It's just people talking about what God is teaching them, praying with each other and remembering God. It felt good to be in a community of people and have a chance to be apart of that. I'm glad we have it.

I don't want to be afraid to celebrate. I guess I sort of feel like people might be annoyed if I share that something is going well and that it only seems to be appropriate to share the struggles. I don't want to trivialize anyone else's struggle by sharing that at this very moment in time I am encouraged. But hopefully when I am having a hard time or am confused and frustrated someone else can speak into my life by telling me how God is alive and working in theirs. i want to rejoice and mourn with my friends. But I have to be willing to do both, I cannot be ashamed of either.

Maybe i should plan a party, a day long or weekend long party in honor of all things good in this world. Anyone want to plan it with me? or be invited? if we planned it well enough perhaps nice people that we know from other cities could come. and we could eat good food, have a dance party, run around and play sports, or games, or plan a car rally, or watch funny or moving movies. This sounds like a lot of fun. anyway, maybe we need to do this everyonce and while too.

I don't have it all figured out and I have no idea what I'm doing in life right now. But I am thankful that i serve a God that can penetrate that confusion, remind that his way is better than my way. that i need to trust him and that he loves me. and perhaps that is all i need to know. i am still aware that i live in a fallen world and things are not blissfully perfect right now. but like a flower growing in a garbage dump, God's beauty is still here in this world. I am thankful that he has left it and I'm thankful that he left his holy Spirit to be in me. I am thankful he can be and is my hope when I have no hope and that he is my strength when I have no strength. God is good and he is working to make this whole again and he is doing that in my life and in the world.

Ecclesiastes speaks about there being a time for everything and how there is a need for balance. "it's all about balance" a good friend of mine would say and I would have to agree. I guess I just feel like often I dno't actually balance both sides.

And so there is time for mourning and a time for dancing. We should mourn. And we shouldn't be fake about it, we should bear each others burdens and mourn together and acknowledge that we are disappointed or frustrated or confused or lost or lonely and disconnected, and that this whole thing just doesn't seem to make sense sometimes. And, as the beggar pointed out, we shouldn't always try to cheer someone up and "fix" them.
BUT at the same time let's not miss our chance to dance. Let's not miss our chance to celebrate with all the fullness and zest we have. And seriously....dancing is so fun. I don't know why we don't do it more often. We might all look ridiculous but I love the way I feel when i dance, once I get rid of that ridiculous insecurity. It is so freeing.