I have returned from a rejuvenating break at home. It was nice to feel like myself again, talk with people about new ideas in a familiar way, eat and drink things that I am used to and enjoy the comfort that comes with people you can easily laugh and talk with. It was good to be home. As a result of this break I have had a change of heart towards the world. I feel as though the world is a big secret waiting to be found out, pursued, and discovered. That things around me are buzzing with potential and that I am capable of participating in it. I even feel the desire to read and think again.
When I was at Regent I read so much that I had couldn't even talk about it after I left - in some ways I didn't know how to talk about the things I had learned because there were not very many venues in which to discuss the ideas. And I often felt like I was in a completely different head space than most people I met. I would try and talk about the things I was processing from my time at school and people often just didn't understand either the importance of what I was saying or why it would matter in the first place. Not many people are too interested in how the printing press sparked the beginning of individualism within Christianity or how gnoticism has seeped into Christianity and distorted the good news of Jesus. If it wasn't for my lovely husband to talk about these ideas with I probably would have imploded. By God's grace my faith was still intact by the end of Regent but I had no idea where to move next and experienced significant apathy towards any movement in my spiritual journey.
When I was at Regent I read so much that I had couldn't even talk about it after I left - in some ways I didn't know how to talk about the things I had learned because there were not very many venues in which to discuss the ideas. And I often felt like I was in a completely different head space than most people I met. I would try and talk about the things I was processing from my time at school and people often just didn't understand either the importance of what I was saying or why it would matter in the first place. Not many people are too interested in how the printing press sparked the beginning of individualism within Christianity or how gnoticism has seeped into Christianity and distorted the good news of Jesus. If it wasn't for my lovely husband to talk about these ideas with I probably would have imploded. By God's grace my faith was still intact by the end of Regent but I had no idea where to move next and experienced significant apathy towards any movement in my spiritual journey.
But this break I got the chance to meet with some friends who were my "idea" friends. When they were first married I would go to their house and we would drink tea and talk for hours about the church and Christianity and such things. And seeing them sparked this feeling inside me that I wanted to read again and engage with the Christian world. Whenever I start to feel like this I want to read a Donald Miller book and then I also want to write a book. I’m not sure what it is about old Donald but he just perfectly fits the mood that I am in at the moment. I can remember the Christmas Break in 2005 where I felt like this and I read Blue Like Jazz followed closely by Through Painted Deserts in early 2006. I like the way he sees the world. And luckily - Donald has a new book out and it's about the story of our lives and living meaningfully.
It feels as though there is space in my brain again for thoughts and ideas. The things from Regent have been somewhat chewed on, digested or spat out or merely forgotten. So here I am in 2010 - beginning on a little journey into reading and thinking again and I'm feeling hopeful about it.
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