As each descending peak on the LCD took you a little farther away from me

I smiled and waved at Mr. Ford today as I drove past him. He has lived at the end of the street the 19 years I have lived in this house. He was out in his impeccable garden. He has cancer.
Before I pulled into my driveway I saw Mrs. Crooks, she has lived here as long as Mr. Ford. She had her scarf draped elegantly around her head, she has been going through Chemo.
I was coming home from school where one of the men I work with has a daughter struggling with leukemia in the PICU in the hospital.

And I thought to myself about how cancer used to not have a name and young and old would just die with no real reason, no name for the disease and that was hard. Now we can call it cancer and it seems just as hard. Being able to name the problem or the reason hasn't helped it much. And that seems how it might be with most things in life. If we were given a reason that wouldn't be enough because the other question then follows "Why?".

I saw Death Cab the other night and their Song "What Sarah said" has been stuck in my head for a while, it makes me think of my grandma.

my Grandma is an example of love that I can only hope to reach someday. My grandpa will be 92 in a few weeks and in the fall he suffered 2 strokes. And it is hard to watch them sometimes and it is beautiful to watch. But it's something to watch as grandparents change over time, as you watch them take different care of each other without saying a word, without complaining. They pick up each other's dropped things, help each other with their coats, they don't tease each other for forgetting things or saying a story twice, they show patience and forbearance. And I love that they are not embarrassed of one another.

My grandma loves my grandpa in the real sense, in the real way. Her life is dedicated to taking care of him now. I know I have a strange sense of what love is. I think it's gerbera daisies and lying on the grass watching skies full of stars on summer nights. Walking by the seashore and holding hands, eating ice cream and reading to each other. And perhaps these are things that happen when you love someone. But love is so much greater than that, it is...as Death Cab would say....watching someone die. Watching them, not turning away. Sticking through these tough moments, not letting go because it will hurt if you keep holding on. But as the hurt grows greater holding on to them even tighter.