Inconsistent

I have something to confess: i am inconsistent. now perhaps this is not the venue in which to confess our deepest, darkest character flaws but it is true...I am inconsistent.

I am sometimes disgusted with how much advice I just throw out there, as if there are a whole bunch of answers to things in life, as if everything is straight forward and clear when I myself spend much of my life confused and unsure.

I guess the things I might say as advice are useful things, good thing to consider, probably good ideas, but I hate that i pretend that there are a bunch of answers. People probably need to be reminded to pray about stuff or seek God's face or read the bible. these are all good things. But....sometimes it doesn't feel like prayer is doing anything, sometimes (or perhaps a lot of the time) the bible seems unclear and confusing, and this God that I love can seem so far away or unreachable. And I know these things, I have experienced them myself, i am experiencing some of that right now. But I forget those feelings and switch into advice mode.

I wish I could just sit in the moment with people and not say anything. And I wish my natural instinct was to know that sometimes the best thing to do for people is just to be there with them, in the moment and that there doesn't have to be a bunch of advice given or something said. Perhaps it stems back to my dislike of lulls in the conversation (something i think I am getting better with.)

But I always end up saying something that I regret later because I feel as though I have tried to gloss over their problem, make it seem less important than it really is. But that is not my intention. And I often leave conversations with people feeling like I have misrepresented myself in some way because I wanted to make them feel better, i wanted them to be okay. I wanted to hug then and tell them everything is going to be okay and for it to be okay.
I wish I could harness this desire I have to make things right into a positive thing but recently it feels like it is coming out all wrong, all over the place.

maybe most of the problem stems from my inability to communicate well in my native tongue as well. that feeling that someone just hasn't understood your intention or what you were saying is frustrating as well. oh dear.
but to those who have been aware of this inconsistency in my own life....don't worry...change is ever near. or i hope it is near.